The sneeze of the Daemon

Today I woke up to the mystikal sines of the apocolypse. When I rubbed my groggy ass cheeks, the sound came to me--familiar, easy, like something I've known for such a long time that you begin to lose proper perspective--the marching ant, the long divided numbers, the touch of pink in the Irish glove--I don't know them anymore. BO BO BO BO BO BO BO BO BO BO OB OB OB OB OB OB OB OB OB OB BO BO BOB OBO OB BOB OB BOBB O B Y O B O B Y O B O YO BYOBYOB OBYOBYOBYOBYOBYOBYOBYOBB The feeling of the pinch growing number.


College reality

College is like all these fuckin hamsters runnin around a maze givin awards to each other for coming up with a fuckin theory about cheese. I went to Columbia College for a few years, and I'm just constantly suprised at what goes on in places like this. Like there's a strict cult called the "Storytime Gang" that won't let anybody out of the circle. you're definitely not allowed to doodle, sneeze, or masturbate in the circle, nor can your eyes leave the eyes of the Eyemaster to wander out the window. then you chant in nonsensical unrelated word games...if you're lucky your professor will lean down and scramble, get out now. the poets down the street trade mostly in gibberish and hierchy. College is good times when you're not on the rack or in brazil, we had good times there, smoking in the park and passing around notebooks mostly. I drew spirals on my hand to fend off bad vibes. jabbing needles in my eyes made them callous off nicely. when my grandmother died we sliced up her coat on the maddening table. Trigger Trinadaddy didn't approve so I fed my brain to apes minus the waffles. it was a fabulous nightmare. kinda like that bad acid flashback shivering in woods when i couldnt stop falling down the trail. just this big fuckin circle, chasing around it, toe stumbling the big light the fuck? I was spose to cry about the indian but i forgot he wasn't a human he was a moviefilm. so we ate lobster in the starving square against the glass, college is where i learned some of these things too. and everything about evil white penises. but then i started thinking, there's lots of evil penises and vaginas and even some evil none of the aboves in the world. it doesnt seem to matter how much they've been bleached. humans are just fuckin strange. so you abandon the surface of the planet and step out of the Reality reality and into some other reality like Lizard reality or Spiralworld. and that's the best thing about college, you get passes to see some crazy shit.


it's a real toilet so be careful!

The American Astronaut

Bathroom Dancing!

a mercenary space pirate running from a space professor with a deadly sand gun who can't kill him until he forgives him. there are no women and I haven't been to earth so I don't understand that joke...

It's All in the Mustache

Teen Poet Superstar Saves Lives!

Already making valuable contributions to society as a poet/drug dealer, Teen Poet Mr. Fly has earned his mustache. During a poorly planned fire drill, Fly put on his fire marshall hat and led a group of talking dogs to safety.
"That man" Sparky barks, licking his balls vigorously while looking into the distance with a spoon in his eye, "saved my life".
Yes, Mister Fly is but one of many Teen Poet Heros of the new mellenium. Jess Rose recently saved a group of starving poets from sobriety with her magical glass reservoir. by scraping the glass she was able to save their ass...es. A Local SchoolBoy, Richard Dugan, of Our Lady of the Bleeding Womb, had this to say "i was just sitting there alone at recess. Jess Rose and HK and their possy came and showed me the wonders that could come in a brown bag. Now recess is So Much FUN!". Shortly afterwards, young Richard Dugan tragically succumbed to breast cancer, but his drunken underage smile lives on. Because we built a sculpture of it.
Baxter, one of the dogs whose life was brutally saved, composed a poem in praise of his savoir, "Ode to Fly, Not a Fly but a Guy Named Fly, and What a Guy, Oh My." Unfortunately, the rest of the text was lost in an unrelated fire.