12/22/09

make yr own booze

recipes found in the zine "Make Your Own Damn Alcohol" by Jarrod and Laurie of Bowling Green, OH (PO Box963 areacode4302) found at Quimbys ($1):

Prison Juice: fruit juice and rye bred. tastes awful. just needs to sit out for a couple weeks.

mead: what vikings drank. boil 11 pts water and dissolve 1 pt of honey into it. add ginger and orange peels. cool and add yeast. cover and sit out for three days. bottle it in soda bottles- glass will explode. let set for one week + before drinking.

Corn Mash Whiskey: this recipe includes charcoal, a baby pool, and corn meal.

apple cider: basically you just half a gallon glass jug cider with concentrate, sugar and yeast, stick a balloon in it, and let it sit til the balloon is full, bottle it, and let it sit out another week or so.

anyone got a recipe for dandelion wine?

12/21/09

Happy Winter Solstice

have fun, fuck the bullshit:

- re-hijack the holidays: the majority of the traditions associated with christmas were hijacked from pagan rituals. this year, take back what, when, and how you break up the boredom of winter and/or celebrate broad abstract concepts that appeal to you. smear your body with paste and sacrifice a goat to santa-satan, get a tribal piercing, have a requiem for the dead, switch places with your slave/master for a day, smear your doorknob in butter, plant a tree (inside, with a sunlamp), give away all your possessions take hallucinogens and go on a spirit quest, air dirty laundry and dance around a pole, have a baloney throwing contest.

-fuck the mall: shop indie, shop local, shop thrift. our corporate overlords can be hard to avoid, and it would drive you mad to try and do so entirely, but there are great places to shop that will put a smile on your face and won't contribute to the gunning down of school children in some "third world" country- like the used bookstore on belmont where you can get your pal a vintage playboy, Ash's Magic Shop in Lincoln Square for the kiddies, Chicago Comics/Graham Cracker Comics for your favorite Bat-boy, Quimbys in Wicker for 'zines, and of course a shitload of used record stores (for cds & vids too) citywide for your favorite music geeks.

-bask in absurdity: host a Tomhanksgiving party. put up "wanted" posters for the grinch. steal money from the bank and burn it at the macy's window downtown. Create a new children's christmas carol akin to "joy to the world/my teacher's dead" and go carolling. give away baskets of crispy bacon to all the neighbors. dress up like a skeleton santa and frighten children at the mall. build shocking snowart in the front yard.

-have a white elephant party and exchange worthless and silly "gifts" like a boxfull of painted paper towel tubes or a collection of mcdonald's toys from the flea market.

-fuck christmas music: listen to sitting on top of the world by howling wolf ("had to take christmas in my overalls"), Grandma got run over by a reindeer, or Paul Brady's "Arthur McBride" which tells of beating up military recruiters on Christmas.

-go in the ramadan direction: in a time when most folks are gettin' greedy, give something up. think about all those kids in china who don't even have any meth, and try meditation instead.

-don't spend money: fuck the monetary system. make your friend a mix tape, give away one of your old favorite books, find some cool shit at the thrift for grandma, knit a sweater for your girlfriend, paint dad a picture, make mom a scrapbook. give shit.

- get wasted: have a traditional pagan midwinter orgy.

(Straight-edgers: celebrate your sobriety! get creative with it: have a painting party and wheatpaste your work to public spaces, or host a good ol' fashion "family party"and bust out the scrabble and charades.)

-give in: you know you love a charlie brown christmas, pine trees smell good, and your ma probably got you something really sweet this year. even if you can't get someone to cover your hours christmas eve, take some time off after new year's when everyone's through with the bullshit and cook a nice dinner with some friends (even if you only know how to make grilled cheese), watch homestarrunner's decemberween special or a bootleg of a very sunny christmas (try letmewatchthis), and just relax and enjoy, my friend.

-have a white trash christmas: make a homemade santa for your front yard. decorate your tree with maakies ornaments. make your own wreath out of found objects. put hunter s thompson in the manger this year.

-don't let the man get you down: be it scrooge, the grinch, the pope, our glorious corporate overlords, mom, or santa (he sees you when you're sleeping!), the man is always trying to get you down. this christmas, celebrate your hope for peace and freedom /love of the world by pulling a freak-out in a major shopping center, having lunch with a bum, or giving the homophobe old navy preacher a big gay hug.

12/12/09

far south side tonite?

"The friends and family of Tariq Ali present a night of music, food, drinks, and friends to honor the memory of our dear departed brother."
$15.00 for 10 bands and food.
raffles, prizes, and a Best Beard Contest!

All proceeds benefit the Ali family.

hosted by intercontinentalballisticmissile
Saturday, December 12,5pm-2am
Tommy's Place
12237 Western Blue Island

Fornication Station/I Attack Holy Whores Dr. Midnight intercontinentalballisticmissile Johnny Vomit Souls Demise DeepSpacePilots Lair Of The Minotaur COULDRON

12/9/09

One Nite Only!

UPDATE: Jordan's robot broke. so he won't be there. = (

Saturday Dec 12 8:00pm
Reversible Eye Gallery (1103 N. California Ave)
One Night Only Magazine Release

$10 at the door* $7.50 w/ preorder at : http://www.theonenightonlymagazine.com/store.html

*with admission fee you get a copy of the magazine, + all you can drink

contributer performances & music by Glittermouse, Ragged Claws, and kickass robotist Jordan E. Ramsier.

"The One Night Only Magazine is a new quarterly journal where each issue is structured around a theme, dictating the design and content, so that each full issue may stand alone as a complete piece. Our first issue is based in audio, and will come in the form of a CD with a 20 page booklet, containing selected work by Thax Douglas, Scott Blackwood, Mikey's Imaginary Friends, and many more."

11/30/09

why poetry is fucked

PJ Piety is still talking. Let's give him several awards. He has been crowned King Poetry by all the highest Poetry authorities. We have given him paper dollars to put our words on the rock that he bought. but it wasn't a rock, it was a shitload of wires. they were all fucked up. he bought the name and he will pass it down to his children, artificially created in a lab.

POETRY IS A BRAIN RACE! I AM THE STRONGEST! HOORAY FOR ME! I HAS THE MOST PAPER DOLLARS!

who throned him? the Chitowlib, the Chitowpomag, Chitowpofest and various schmoets who gave him money. not only can art be a buisiness, it can have an elaborate ranking system, with bribery to gain entry! you love it.

next week: the war of the Loudmouths vs the SecretKeepers

11/9/09

Public Disturbance w/ Verbatim

Verbatim is Columbia College's Performance Poetry Group, and they will be doing some guerilla action on the 12th. to check it out (and possibly add your voice) meet at 600 s. michigan at the underground cafe at 6 pm.

also:
november 20th: silvertongue and verbatim open mic/poetry slam. friday from 6-10 at the quincy young / hokin annex.

11/8/09

the EIN c O n vneinc

the sweetest little loft space you're not sposta kno about, if you ever get invited to one of their invitation-only shows, take it. last nite we ventured over somewhere like roscoe vill to check out the fabulous songstress rachele eve, who was dressed, like most everybody, as a skeleton. the bands ranged in quality and style, mostly on the indie to punk track, playing with a passion that led to melting skeletal faces and passed out drummers on the sidewalk in front of the bar next door, and the crowd was super chill, some in costume for this post day of the dead show, others sporting the classic nerd look, sweaters and hefty glasses, making the floor throb with their goofy white people dance moves. the show started at 7 and wound down around two, when everyone was kicked out except "vips". the after party consisted mainly of a cheesy 80s music dance party. good times.

11/1/09

Roxbox Poetry Jam

monday nite starting at nine @ 2624 N Lincoln Ave

featuring Switchback Books

$3 drafts, $4 shots, library books, books for sale, poetry readings, open mic, possible nudity.

as joe put it on the facedbook:

"Hi poets and poetry lovers, Joe Bly here with some great news. I am hosting a monthly poetry open mic and with your help it will be Chicago's new home of the late night poet. The better news? We are making sure this isn't going to be your typical open mic. On top of having fantastic featured readers every month, we are asking readers to bring their own work as well as pieces by their favorite artists to share. At The Rockbox Jam, our goal is for you to enjoy yourselves in a community created poetic realm. This means experiencing the balance of poetry from your freshest local artists to your age old favorites. We are all about having a good time, no pretensions here, just free exchange. So come and enjoy the words, show us what you love, and let the inspiration out. I'm happy to announce this Monday's featured readers come from Chicago's raddest and most debonair feminist press, Switchback Books! We will have a book table with their newest titles to check out, $3 drafts and $4 Jameson shots, and an eclectic mix of music all night long. A library of poetry books will available at the bar so everyone who wants to can read a piece. I think this is going to be a great night and I can't wait to see you there. Maybe a free shot or drink ticket will float your way... Thanks again and all my love, Joe."

10/5/09

The sneeze of the Daemon

Today I woke up to the mystikal sines of the apocolypse. When I rubbed my groggy ass cheeks, the sound came to me--familiar, easy, like something I've known for such a long time that you begin to lose proper perspective--the marching ant, the long divided numbers, the touch of pink in the Irish glove--I don't know them anymore. BO BO BO BO BO BO BO BO BO BO OB OB OB OB OB OB OB OB OB OB BO BO BOB OBO OB BOB OB BOBB O B Y O B O B Y O B O YO BYOBYOB OBYOBYOBYOBYOBYOBYOBYOBB The feeling of the pinch growing number.

10/4/09

College reality

College is like all these fuckin hamsters runnin around a maze givin awards to each other for coming up with a fuckin theory about cheese. I went to Columbia College for a few years, and I'm just constantly suprised at what goes on in places like this. Like there's a strict cult called the "Storytime Gang" that won't let anybody out of the circle. you're definitely not allowed to doodle, sneeze, or masturbate in the circle, nor can your eyes leave the eyes of the Eyemaster to wander out the window. then you chant in nonsensical unrelated word games...if you're lucky your professor will lean down and scramble, get out now. the poets down the street trade mostly in gibberish and hierchy. College is good times when you're not on the rack or in brazil, we had good times there, smoking in the park and passing around notebooks mostly. I drew spirals on my hand to fend off bad vibes. jabbing needles in my eyes made them callous off nicely. when my grandmother died we sliced up her coat on the maddening table. Trigger Trinadaddy didn't approve so I fed my brain to apes minus the waffles. it was a fabulous nightmare. kinda like that bad acid flashback shivering in woods when i couldnt stop falling down the trail. just this big fuckin circle, chasing around it, toe stumbling the big light the fuck? I was spose to cry about the indian but i forgot he wasn't a human he was a moviefilm. so we ate lobster in the starving square against the glass, college is where i learned some of these things too. and everything about evil white penises. but then i started thinking, there's lots of evil penises and vaginas and even some evil none of the aboves in the world. it doesnt seem to matter how much they've been bleached. humans are just fuckin strange. so you abandon the surface of the planet and step out of the Reality reality and into some other reality like Lizard reality or Spiralworld. and that's the best thing about college, you get passes to see some crazy shit.

10/2/09

it's a real toilet so be careful!

The American Astronaut

Bathroom Dancing!

a mercenary space pirate running from a space professor with a deadly sand gun who can't kill him until he forgives him. there are no women and I haven't been to earth so I don't understand that joke...

It's All in the Mustache

Teen Poet Superstar Saves Lives!

Already making valuable contributions to society as a poet/drug dealer, Teen Poet Mr. Fly has earned his mustache. During a poorly planned fire drill, Fly put on his fire marshall hat and led a group of talking dogs to safety.
"That man" Sparky barks, licking his balls vigorously while looking into the distance with a spoon in his eye, "saved my life".
Yes, Mister Fly is but one of many Teen Poet Heros of the new mellenium. Jess Rose recently saved a group of starving poets from sobriety with her magical glass reservoir. by scraping the glass she was able to save their ass...es. A Local SchoolBoy, Richard Dugan, of Our Lady of the Bleeding Womb, had this to say "i was just sitting there alone at recess. Jess Rose and HK and their possy came and showed me the wonders that could come in a brown bag. Now recess is So Much FUN!". Shortly afterwards, young Richard Dugan tragically succumbed to breast cancer, but his drunken underage smile lives on. Because we built a sculpture of it.
Baxter, one of the dogs whose life was brutally saved, composed a poem in praise of his savoir, "Ode to Fly, Not a Fly but a Guy Named Fly, and What a Guy, Oh My." Unfortunately, the rest of the text was lost in an unrelated fire.

9/29/09

att sucks

if i wanted somebody to plop me in a phone cord after slicing my head off so i can wander around opening endless doors to endless empty offices staffed by flesh melting faces with the eyeballs sucked out so i can stumble around the maze stinging myself on electrick currents while paper dollars bleed out of my aching muscles searchin for the cheese while walking papers covered in meaningless jibberish shove gerbals down my neck, i'd pay for it. and i am.

9/6/09

Broke City Olympics

What better way to say "fuck the olympics" than to wheatpaste this up on one of those (likely tax funded) leotarded pro-olympic flaywad sculptures set up in yuppiecommerceville? enjoy.

oh, and if you want the olympics real bad, maybe you can use newfangled technology to alter it into a thumbs up with YEAH OLYMPICS! on the bottom. that is if you wanna fuckin pay for it...

9/5/09

nonverbal poems (with vaginas)

http://delirioushem.blogspot.com/

a project of artistic response to female poets, featuring Daniela, Abi, and Flynn amongst others.

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Anal Rape in the Harrowing Chinese SchoolGirl Poolhouse of PJ Piety

not a dugnovalesaachkay production

seriously, some anonymous joker sent us this. we were all like, wtf? but we decided to run it cuz we couldnt find any weed. not that we smoke weed, that would be illegal. we were going to hand it over to the proper authorities for destruction. not that we're narcs. we were gonna send an anonobot that would've self destructed at the first sign of police questioning. they're very reliable, those anonobots. just don't get too close to em.

,

"wait, is this the day the aliens have landed?"
"no, it's National Unexplained Phenomenon Day"
New Taxes on Pajama Bottoms, Buttons and Flies.
fruit?
zipper.

Review of Carnivore Carny

by All Words Copywrit All The Time Devour Press
excerpts:
Fair is Fair, bury the hatchet in vaginal mucus for sail to the children time. Once there was a city run by rats and animated pigeon robots. the sextoy robots had taken over. in this city was a diligent schmoet named PJ Piety who had carefully crafted a defense mechanism made of 011001 so he could own all the words. he stole all the words from the mouths of starving children, cut off their lips and taped them to his asshole. Four times an hour the Holy Hole would sing. it would sing songs about how mean and unjust all the other humans were before they got mechanized cuz they wanted to share words and they were communists.
"I got outta there with both lovely testicles intact" he told reporterbots at the scene, "but I had to scotch tape them to my forehead to stop the bleeding."
"let jesus fuck you!" his asshole sang as he fell into a deep state of epeleptic seizure, concentration, meditation, masturbation.
i went home. when i woke in the middle of the nite, 13 assholes were surround me, singing. four had assholes. and they sang

we are CHITOWPO,
we own all the buildings!
we own all the grass!
we own all the oxygen molecules!
you'll have to lick them outta our ass!

that is offensive to women! i screamed, but nobody listened cuz i was carving ovaries outta soap at the time.
but CJ Piety knew he wasnt crazy. He was the Jesus of Chitowpo. They were all trying to kill him. or anally rape him. o, they were clever. they would pretend like all they wanted to do was chew on words. theyd pretend like they couldnt hear him. but he knew that they'd scheduled their entire lives around his holy calendar. cuz it had holes in it, like swiss cheese. and it told the people the truth about how everyone was trying to anally rape his precious children. so PJ Piety decided to get some MOTHERFUCKING REVENGICIDE! he would not take that shit lying down. so he burnt down all the other calendars, even stonehenge, until nobody knew what day it was and the sun died. of venereal diseases. and PJ Piety masturbated in spasmotic glee.

...and they told the children, be careful which words you eat, or the PJ Piety will come...

next week: PJ Piety makes a web site about assramming elephants.

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chicago poetry chicago poetry chicago poetry (x3=$45.6x3+9.18tx=$178.9)

9/3/09

tattoo a poet

Faith Rice, prez of verbatim (columbia's performance poetry group) is getting poetry branded-your poem could be on her skin! look for verbatim's Poetry Tattoo Competition at colum's new student convocation in grant park.

8/29/09

wanna get involved?

Elephantz is a community motherfucking art project, and we're looking to involve more folks in it. if you wanna get involved, give us a holler. we like people who like art, people who like making art, people who wanna have art shows, people who are good with words, people who are good times, anarchists, and renegade satanic monkey priests. elephantzine@gmail.com

8/27/09

another nite at carl's

O man was last nite fun...you mighta noticed me, i was the loud drunk obnoxious asshole that was runnin around with a string can phone...well i did say i had fun, did i not?...on the way up i nearly got attacked by the tree branches that are growing out of the apartment... the boys had set up a stage with boxes and windows and leafy branches and a microphone on a string at the front for the spoken words, and carl's room was made up like his mind with blue wood windows smeared with typewritten martian law pages and the usual typewriter for hire in the corner. katie heath (whose name i've now forgotten about a million times but who's personality is unforgettable) had some sweet pieces up in the hall like i need a job /hobby rolling papers and a liquor store map of her community, very handy indeed. Evan had some cool pieces up too, like bat glasses imploring "see me" but i can't really describe his style, you gotta see it. whitney (of roche moche) had some of her fucking amazing, haunting skeletal birdmouth paintings up too. There were lots of other kickass displays like birdsnests towers and photographs, with names on them that were all blurry (that or there was two of thems) and shit, kickass. Of course, it was Joe "OEM" Bly's day of birthening, so there was much drunken merry making and reuniting of folks we hadnt seen in a minute / all summer, happy to report that richard dugan is alive indeed, i also learned some interesting things about riker's from an irish ex-con...like prison rape? totally exaggerated. prison man on man action? everything you dreamed about and more. if you're into that kinda thing. Ike and Carl were the perfect hostesses, thanks for an awesome night guys! now to soak my head in a bucket of ice water...

8/13/09

notebook online

all pages of notebook online here.

7/21/09

"around the clock" by Peter Skvara, "hypno fancy" by Evan Crown, "funny guy" by Riley, "signs" by HK

and finally... That's All, Folks! Don't Forget to Tip Your Waitress!

This Friday!

"Join us for a three dimensional freak out of color, form and material. Walk the isles of a hand-made grocery store created completely out of paper, shoot hoops on a 3 story high basketball net, or just sit down at our collage table and create some work of your own. After the opening and subsequent hangover, come back on July 25th for an art-making BBQ throw down as we combine our creative energies to make collages which we will hand-deliver for free to the people walking around this great city. So drop on by, check out some good stuff and make some of your own. We will have magazines, scissors and glue on hand but feel free to bring your own collage materials to throw down."

Participants: Chris Roberson, Emily Clayton, Dr. James Harry Ewert Jr, Rod Hunting, Adrianne Goodrich , Peter Skvara, Chad Kouri, Matt Nicolas, Jim Kozar, Ed Marszewski, Ben Speckmann, Sarah Jeziorski, Richard Smith and more. Audio collage performances by Le Deuce and Rik Shaw.

getittogethershow.com

Brought to you by Chad Kouri and Dr. James Harry Ewert Jr.

from Pete.

7/12/09

"Magically Real" by Carl Aagesen

BRAVE NEW VOICES

International Youth Poetry Slam Festival
July 14-19

Kevin Coval hosts the finals at the Chicago Theatre (175 N State);
anyone under 24 gets in for a measly $8 to see young folks from "over 50 cities".

Friday July 17 @7 check out Saul Williams and Alix Olsen at "Bringing the Noise" at the Merle Reskin Theatre 60 E Balbo $10.

Life is Living
feat. Beau Sia & Saul Williams.
skating, basketball & soccer, dance battles, graffitti.
FREE Claredeon Plaza (at Montrose), Saturday July 18 10am-4pm

Semi-Finals at the MCA, Columbia, Chi Pub Radio HQ, & Biograph Theatre

www.Bravenewvoices.org

7/11/09

Chicago NOW Open House

Saturday the 11th (that's today, kids). "A celebration of feminist art." featuring music by Rachele Eve (5pm) and a reading by Daniela around 4pm at the EP theatre. FREE BOOZE.

7/10/09

Who Owns Chicago Poetry?

a certain unnamed party has been harassing another unnamed party regarding ownership of this phrase. I'm not gettin into this one (check daniela's blog entry a couple weeks ago if you're interested, the hate sites are pretty fucked up) but i gotta ask:

how can you own chicago poetry? that belongs to all of us, man. that's like asking who owns this city. this is our fucking city. fuck daley and all.

Last Nite at the Mutiny

i miss walking down Western Ave in Logan; Carl, Rob, and a coupla other guys usta have a house down there, which was frequently haunted by whiskey ghosts from other planets who liked to dance and break the furniture. this path i've treaded many times, even barefoot over broken glass caterwauling beatles tunes with Oem, a noisy, dirty, buzzing, laughing street, passing Arturo's, the ice creamery, the flag store, the neon store, the spy store (where Carl's spit is on camera file) down to Fullteron and the big ol' Old Style sign marking the Mutiny. I ditch my tallboy and walk in without any hassle, the doors playing and somebody who should've been wearing a sailor hat shooting pool. At the back of the club on the low stage Baby Tornado is gearing up. tired from work, I sit on the floor in front of the stage.
Carl screams and makes faces like an ancient evil alien ghost clown, dancing around in his loafers and nerd-o sweater like yr drunkard old man after a week neglecting his psychotropic medication.
Baby Tornado played pretty damn hard for a mystical alterverse connecting rod. Rob destroyed the drums, drunk and fulla rage, then switched with Ryan (who is not an accountant but a spook for wind-power in high tops who kicks ass), grabbing the gee-tar and turning his back shy.
"Sometimes There Are Bats Everywhere."
people dancing and passing around pitchers in the swarming black of the club (broken only by the red splash of the Helter Skelter 'giny pisser). the speakers ripple an aneurism through my ribs. a lot of people in this room seem to be missing chunks of koolaid hair & sporting sleeves of violent ink.
at the break we flood out onto the street where the owner keeps count of who's outside and keeps trying to shuttle us all back in when we're done with our squares. this is necessary because folks don't seem to want to go inside, they wanna talk loud and jump into old friends and shake off the sweat in this wierd July cool (Al Gore has been notified). Back inside, People Sometimes is playing, Watman is screaming and shaking wet hair on the crowd, and the lead guitarist takes the mic and and brings it down into the crowd. the crowd calls to the drummer, "take off your shirt!"
"I'll take my right shoe off".
i missed most of Tea Party's set in quest of pizza; they kept the frenzy building up to Roche Moche. everybody went nuts, man- stripping off clothes, pogoing and dancing and trampling in one big sweaty lektrik body.
after the show we went to a dying party and laid out on the roof. the guy who lived there was convinced we were comin down from acid.

7/8/09

Roche Moche, People Sometimes & Baby Tornado Thursday

with Tea Party at the Mutiny.
2428 N Western. 9pm

7/2/09

Five Broke-Ass Tunes

for all the hurtin artists out there:

(1) Busted - sung by Ray Charles and Johnny Cash. Written in 1962 by Harlan Howard, a farmboy from detroit. About a hard-luck farmer whose crops are failing, hens wont lay, cows go dry. "My bills are all due, and the baby need shoes...the county's gonna haul my belongs away, cuz I'm busted". He can't get money from his brother and fears he might have to steal or move on and try to find work elsewhere, "but I'll make a livin', the lord only knows, cuz I'm busted".

(2) Mercedes Benz -sung by Janis Joplin, a piece of song recorded in a playful, joking manner that parodies the greed of the American Dream and the shame and isolation of modern American "poverty" -not having a TV, a cool car, or any money for drinks, workin' hard with "no help from my friends".

(3)I Spent TheRent -by the Queers; a 30 second, 8 word song about spending the rent money and saying fuck it. sometimes sung in a fake British Accent.

(4) Steak 4 Chicken -Moldy Peaches. an overlapping duet with some really funny, crazy lines: "Mardi Gras, came and went, all my money has been spent /how'm I gonna pay the Rent, sittin on your face. who mistook the steak for chicken, who'm I gonna stick my dick in?"

(5) Ma & Pa Poorhouse Blues -Ma Rainey & Papa Charlie Jackson in a simple, moving, moaning, uplifiting, painful, funny old blues song, "bein broke's alright, when you know you got some more money comin' in, but when you lose your money, that's when friends chip in..."

honorable mentions: "Spoonful" Howling Wolf, "Rock Bottom" Eminem, "Diamonds & Gold" Tom Waits, "Polly Put the Kettle On" Sonny Boy Williamson.

Columbia Poets: Where Are They Now?

where to read kick-ass poetry

Burdock looks good. so does 11 11. of course ACM kicks ass all over town. Andrew's bludgeon chapbook is pretty much the shit. i highly recommend reading anything Flynn writes, especially on acid. Dolly's shit is sharp and funny as hell. dunno these other kids so good but then you'll havta read it to find out, eh?

Echo Report

echo report

2009 New World Order Contestants

7/1/09

Innane Adverts

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i did not make these up, these are real.

new issue of jettison

includes fiction, art, recipes, and an article on why gay marriage aint happenin in il, jettison away!

6/30/09

6/29/09

Activity: Talk Back

You walk down the street past a billboard that says "Want People To Want To Stand Near You? Use Soylent Soap! Clean And People-Free", pass a street preacher yellin "how you gonna go to heaven, if you don't properly wash your vegetables? how you gonna go to heaven, if you a member of Sam's Club? how you gonna go to heaven, if you change a lightbulb wearing overalls?". You go to work and your boss tells you to quit jerkin off to high speed internet mature tentacle rape school girl innocent interracial insurance salesmen porn and recusitate that heart patient already or you're sacked. then you go home and the Surrounding TeeVee Walls tells you that you should really be offended by men who don't adequately cover their bald spots with a wig of at least horsehair quality at Socialist Funerals, and Something Must Be Done!, and it's good, real good, that President Andy set fire to that kitten.

Well, sometimes you just gotta scream, I'm Mad As Hell and I Ain't Gonna Take It Anymore!

*Create/write a piece in response to a message you're not generally invited to respond to.*

Then present/display your art/poem to that corporation/crowd/person/entity. Paste it up over that billboard /your mama's face! Send it in to the paper! Scream it on the street!

Extra Credit: Document your efforts and send them to elephantzine@gmail.com. The gods will reward you handsomely.

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also, for those of you wondering- "hey, whatever happened to issue 3? and when the fuck they gonna have another show?" well, see, we really wanted to do it earlier, but like, had all these problems, like, first our car ran outta gas and we had to go back cuz we forgot to feed the cat and then our cousin from outta town showed up and he was with this kid who we recognized as a fugitive from the law from a wanted poster at the mcdonalds so we had to climb out the bathroom window cuz we heard sirens but it was only the fire truck across the street but then we forgot our keys and we didnt wanna break a window so we called the landlord but we hadta hang up on him cuz we remembered we forgot to pay the rent, so we went up to the pawnshop to tryn raise some dough but we got in a fistfight with the owner cuz he kept trying to tell us we couldnt pawn our fuckin shoes, even if they were mada solid gold cuz they got holes in em and our feet stank, then we heard about this rad free show happenin in the square but when we got there it was canceled so we got some 40s and got wasted and woke up in alberqurke only we couldnt even figure out how to spell it right so it ended up being fuckin newark, and we got lost and the only people we could find for directions were peruvian or some shit, and we tried to speak peruvian but accidentally ended up telling them to suck our dirty hairy bottoms clean of their mother's moisture, so then we had to run our asses to the #16 bus in a hail of gunfire and we got shot in the ankle so we went to the hospital only we didnt have no insurance so we hadta put on false mustaches but they fell of and we got kicked out so we hadta dig out the bullet with the same spoon that fugitive kid, our cousin's friend, had used to funnel outta prison, and it hurt like hell so we went uptown to score some painkillers off a down croaker, only he said he didnt write no more on accounta he had the fuzz sniffin around his coattails all the goddamm time so we bought a bottla cough syrup and drank it but then we remembered that we were late for work so we got on the bus only we didnt have no change anymore so we got kicked off the bus and then we were hustlin for change but the cops stopped us so we pulled some kung fu moves and got outta there only then we hadta steal a car and got stuck in a high speed pursuit along the dan ryan of all places but we knew a safehouse in hydepark so we ditched the hot ride and crashed in this girls house only her mama was there and she kept askin all these questions about our schooling and we didnt know cuz we hadnt been to school in ages so finally we said fuck it and went home and broke a window and passed the fuck out. but we'll get to it monday, we swear.

serously, we have some rad poems and if this weather holds we think we may be able to get it out around august or september. also we wanna have a fuckin show, just not sure where, anybody got a fuckin warehouse they can lend us? also also, it'd help if you sent us some work. ASAP, as in right fuckin now, you lazy goddamn waxy eared slack jawed cloudhed artistes. why dont you all go to accountant school get real jobs. we did and look at us! i mean, we're broke as shit but at least Mom's Friendly Robot Corporation is making bank, plus we figure in a year or two we got a good shot at embezzlement. so what were we saying, O yea, send us art/poetry/dead rats and we'll, y'kno, photocopy/upload/wheatpaste 'em for yas.

Cheers! -Elephant

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6/27/09

"magnet" by Stephen Dvorak, "rocket" by Joe Bly

^click on the image for a closer look^

6/16/09

Women Fight Harassment with Poetry!

Sisters who are sick of being harassed on the CTA will fight back with a poetry slam, to be held from 2 to 4 p.m. June 27 at Berger Park, 6206 N. Sheridan. http://www.suntimes.com/news/transportation/1622746,CST-NWS-ride15.article

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From the Switchback Blog: "Switchback Editor, Hanna Andrews, will be reading alongside poet Carol Guess on Friday, June 26th. The event will take place at Women & Children First and will begin at 7:30 pm 5233 N. Clark St. Chicago, IL 60640". If you don't know already, WCF is a sweet indie feminist/gay/family bookstore in andersonville (redline-berwyn) with a great selection and an excellent staff. It's a nice place and the hood is pretty sweet to walk around in. http://www.womenandchildrenfirst.com/NASApp/store/IndexJsp?s=storeevents&eventId=422274

read one of Hanna's poems here: http://thediagram.com/7_1/andrews.html

another switchbacker, Brandi "B-Ho" Homan will be reading soon too: "June 27 — Salon with Kathleen Rooney, Brandi Homan, and Carol Guess. Atelier Studio, 410 S. Michigan Ave, Studio 921, Chicago, IL. 2:00pm". Here's a Brandi poem: http://www.webdelsol.com/DIAGRAM/3_5/homan.html

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Finally, I will be hosting a commie art party/jam session (give what you can, take what you need) in Little Village this friday, hit me up for details.

6/7/09

6/1/09

5/26/09

Roche Moche!

Roche Moche will be playing at the Elbo Room tomorrow nite starting at 9pm. Roche Moche means ugly rock, fronted by a screaming sweatin gothish girl who draws fragile psychedelic francophone bird skeletons on windows and wears a giant woolen hat. I saw them at the Mutiny and nearly creamed my pants. It was like what I always imagined bikini kill to be like, only with a more sophisticated musical what-have-you swirling through my brain and bleeding eardrums, sort of pumpkins-esque I guess, I didnt take all those fancy music classes.. I couldnt understand a damn word she was saying but I felt it, man. here's how they promote themselves on the facebook you damn kids love so much:

"

This wednesday may 27th at 9pm see roche moche and other great local acts perform awe inspiring and panic inducing incantations and wavical acts of symphonic schismogenesis right before your tender eyeballs and earholes. bring a friend to dance with and clean up your blood with. watch benben the circus shim eat a footlong hotdog in less than a second. other weird and mysterious acts sure to happen or not. go green and shit with new reusable toilet paper and barfbags. stop spreading disease by wearing gloves anytime you touch another human being. stare into space and think about how we are better than antimatter. cant have the life you dreamed of as a stupid little kid? take someone elses. free advice administered daily. no guarantees. make sure you quit that job and dump that lover and start over. work hard for a promotion and finally pop the question to your sweetheart. "high school was the best!" he said and rolled off the side of the bed. et cetera"
GO TO THIS SHOW! yea, okay, it does cost money and is at a bar but you will fucking thank me.

5/20/09

"disney empire" by Alex Bonner

^click on the image for a closer look^

5/15/09

Streetwise Events

Help the homeless out: "Next week is StreetWise awareness week and there are a number of events being planned to honor our organization. Two of the events are open to anyone who would like to attend. They are as follows: Tuesday, May19, starting at 6:00PM, come out for an evening of fun at 10 Pin Bowling Lounge located at 330 North State Street. $30 covers bowling, shoes, and a food buffet, with proceeds going to StreetWise. Thursday, May 21, starting at 6:00PM, join us for a happy hour networking event thrown by board members Adam Meek and Jon Reinsdorf at the Underground located at 56 W. Illinois. $20 donation towards StreetWise recommended." (from the SW newsletter). Also, check out my article on anarchists, coming out the 27th.

"aliens" by Faith Rice and Riley

^click on the image for a closer look^

5/10/09

MANIFEST YR DESTINY!

MAY 15th- friggin be there! right in the loop! Check out performance art on the street, guerilla poetry, the poetry tattoo parlor, crazy-ass art cars, and all kindsa other shit, free and in yr face: http://www2.colum.edu/manifest/

5/8/09

it's Tammy time!

A new print journal of poetry and prose from Tyler Flynn Dorholt, Thomas Cook, and JoAnna Novak, and featuring work by Rick Meier, Lisa Fishman, Aaron Patrick Flanagan, and Catherine Meng, heeeere's TAMMY!

(by the way, they're totally excepting submissions).

"you live with people just to hear the guitar" by Jess Rose

weekend happenings

Home Ec

hosted by the Happy Collaborationists 1254 N Noble Art installations by Torreyanna Barley and Anna Trier. for info e-mail annatrier@happycollaborationists.com

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JUNKYARD CARNIVAL

Trap Door Theatre -1655 W Cortland - $10

Friday, May 8, 7PM Show Music by Origin of Animal, Ryan Gunzel, House of Winehouse Comedy by Ryan Schefdore, Jody Serafin Burlesque by Cruel Valentine, La Lola, Alexandra The Romanian Belly Dancer

Friday, May 8, 9PM Show Music by Rachel Ries, Kory Quinn, Chris Elam, House of Winehouse Comedy by Ryan Schefdore, Matt Stromer Burlesque by La Lola, Viva La Muerte, Dominique Trixx, Alexandra The Romanian Belly Dancer

Saturday, May 9, 6PM Show Music by Nashville Wreckers, House of Winehouse, Lydia Palazzolo Comedy by Ryan Schefdore, Matt Stromer Burlesque by La Lola, Bizarre Sally, Pearl Pistol

Saturday, May 9, 8PM Show Music by Nashville Wreckers, Kory Quinn, Stealth Like A Canoe Comedy by Ryan Schefdore, Jody Serafin Burlesque by Donna Touch, Bizarre Sally, Pearl Pistol

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Mouth of Feathers:

Rachele Eve CD Release Party at the Hideout

Friday, May 22nd 9pm 1354 W Wabansia

Rachele Eve is a folksy songstress who kicks ass. I don't know what else to say about her or her music, so just check it out for yourself: http://www.racheleeve.com/

interview with an anarchist

this is an interview I conducted via e-mail towards an article on the Finding Our Roots Conference for Streetwise. Not sure when it's coming out yet, sometime after the 15th? See your local, friendly neighborhood homeless dude to get a copy. Also, if you happen to be in Pilsen and with a thirst for knowledge, check out Lichen Lending Library (more on this some other time, but you can google it).

HK: When did you become involved in the anarchist community, and what drew you to it?

KBunny: I first became an anarchist in high school, in the mid-1980s. I had become involved in anti-nuclear and anti-Apartheid activism, and was investigating political theory on my own. I actually initially got into Marxism, mostly because it was the only anti-capitalist philosophy that I could find material on. Plus I knew some Marxists and socialists through activism. I was also reading a lot about sixties radicalism. Like many my age I had heard of anarchy through the Sex Pistols, and was drawn to the idea without really knowing what it was. Then my senior year a friend showed me a flyer for an anarchist youth group that had begun meeting in the East Village (I grew up in New York), which at the time was not at all the arty yuppie enclave it is today, but rather the center of a militant squatters' struggle against the city housing authority, the police, and the forces of gentrification. I went to a meeting and met people who openly called themselves anarchists for the first time. I got involved in the community and the local political punk scene, and got access to all kinds of anarchist literature, from zines to historical writings. During a lot of the 1990s, after I graduated from college, I drifted away from anarchism in any active sense, and toward progressive liberalism (I actually voted for Clinton!). I moved to Chicago in 1999 for grad school. I slowly became re-radicalized by the events of 1999-2001: the Seattle uprising and the so-called "anti-globalization" protests that followed, the theft of the 2000 presidential election, the murder of Carlo Giuliani by police at the 2001 anti-G8 protests in Italy, and finally the imperialist reaction to 9/11. By the end of 2001 I was openly calling myself an anarchist again and participating in various radical efforts in Chicago. I guess I was drawn to anarchist community initially because for the first time I found folks who seemed to see the world more like I did, who were dedicated to politicized rebellion and divesting from the status quo, rather than just reformist protest, or replacing one totalizing doctrine with another. As a teenager it was exciting to meet people who dressed outrageously, lived as they wanted, and subscribed to all kinds of practices and ideas that made sense to me, such as veganism, feminism, polyamory, queerness, DIY culture, squatting, and sharing food, work, and living space in community. As I've aged I've certainly become more jaded about anarchist community, but I still feel compelled to create resistance with others, and it is still really the only "political home" that makes sense for me.

HK: How do you (and/or the community) define anarchy?

KBunny: Whew! Ask ten anarchists this question and you'll get about 50 different answers. Anarchists tend to be naturally free-thinkers who don't automatically accept what they are told, but rather must consider the evidence and arrive at their own conclusions - therefore each person tends to have their own working definition of anarchism, and their own vision of what anarchy means to them and would look like. A few things these visions tend to have generally in common include: hatred of and opposition to all forms of hierarchy, domination, and oppression - including the understanding that these things are inherent in the current system (and pretty much all others that have existed in human history); belief in mutual aid and the equal sharing of resources and work; and belief in individual and community autonomy and self-determination, which goes hand in hand with a belief that human beings are not only capable of but best suited to self-sufficiency, voluntary cooperation, and consensus - that people don't need and shouldn't have a "higher authority" to police our actions and tell us how to act and how to live. Of course, all of what I just said fits in with my own ideas of what anarchy is - another anarchist might give you a different answer to how "the community" defines anarchy. But probably their answer would contain at least some of the same elements. However, I don't know if you could accurately say that there is one "community" definition of anarchy, as we are always arguing the point amongst ourselves, and there are many different "schools" of anarchism. One thing I really value about Finding Our Roots is that folks from many different tendencies can come together and discuss, network, and strategize across ideological differences - which after all are much less significant than the differences between us and the mainstream political world. For my own version of anarchy I would also add that I tend more toward an individualist anarchism, meaning that I feel individual autonomy and self-determination trumps most concerns, unless it spills over into curtailing the individual freedom of others (for example, I don't believe that we are "free" to rape, assault, or imprison another). This means I struggle a lot with things like my ethical veganism, because as much as I believe that the meat industry is grossly oppressive to animals, I also believe that what one chooses to ingest is a personal decision that should not be dictated by another. However, I also feel that the supposed divide between "individualist" and "collectivist" anarchism (and here we're getting into multi-layered debates that have raged for decades in anarchist community) is actually a false dichotomy - because I enthusiastically support the idea of collectivism, and as an individual I can and do choose to work in many different types of collectives. This includes sometimes choosing to subsume my individual desire to the will and work of the collective, because I believe that the collective's goals and existence are more important. This doesn't always happen, though, and this is when the consensus process gets tricky: if someone feels so strongly about something that they would leave the collective if certain decisions are made, we have to keep working and debating until we can arrive at a decision that everyone can agree to. Consensus is definitely a much slower and more difficult decision-making process than majority rule or representative so-called democracy, but anarchists tend to feel that it is worth it to have decisions made in a truly non-hierarchical manner. By the same token, sometimes individual initiative is what makes things happen, and anarchists usually do not expect one another to wait for permission to act. It's a delicate balance of trusting the people you're working with, and not acting in a way that imposes your individual will on others without their consent.

HK: How does the anarchist lifestyle compare to the "average american's'?

KBunny: Again, there isn't a single "anarchist lifestyle." Some of us spend our time traveling around and living in the cracks of capitalist society. Some of us live collectively, dumpster-dive and/or grow our own food, and otherwise try to live as low on the food chain as possible, and try to avoid the need to sell all our time to capitalists for subsistence. Some of us are queer, and might be in open or multiple-partner relationships; some are straight and/or monogamous. For some anarchism is all about unionism, community organizing, or issue-based activism, while for others it's more about creating pockets of the world we envision now - and for many it's both. Some of us avoid TV and mass media, some don't. And some of us have spouses and children, own homes and cars, and have full-time jobs just like most "average americans." We have to find ways to survive under capitalism just like everyone else, and that takes different forms for different people. There are plenty of anarchists you might take for "just another average joe" if you saw them on the street - and in most respects they are "just folks," it's just that personal conviction and/or experience under the heel of capitalism have brought them to anarchism.

HK: There seem to be a lot of fears and misconceptions about anarchists; how would you respond to people who consider your ideaology dangerous or akin to nihilism or communism?

KBunny: First I should say that there *are* some anarchists who favor nihilist ideas and/or would claim the label "nihilist," as well as some who call themselves anarcho-communist and envision an essentially communist political structure, only without a centralized authority, and with community autonomy and collective, non-hierarchical decision-making. Most Americans equate "communism" with Soviet Russia, which is actually quite inaccurate - most radicals (anarchist and otherwise) would say that the USSR actually equaled "state capitalism," not to mention fascist imperialism more or less of the kind practiced by the US - only the power mechanism consisted of the state, rather than private corporations supported by the state. But because of widespread misconceptions about what communism is - as well as its implications of ideology and individual action being dictated by a central, controlling body - I myself think anarchists should not seek to embrace this term, even though a lot of what I practice and believe could be described as "communistic." In my view, anarchists are not communists precisely because of the value we place on self-determination, decentralization, and individual freedom. Other anarchists would of course disagree. I would say the single biggest misconception about anarchists is that we only want to destroy and create disorder, that anarchy equals chaos and "everyone for themselves." As you saw at the conference this is just not the case. I don't know how many times I've heard someone quip, "An anarchist conference - isn't that an oxymoron?" - as though getting together for a weekend and talking about stuff is somehow anti-anarchist. Yes, most anarchists *do* want to destroy capitalism, or at the very least create alternatives to it as it slowly crumbles under its own weight. But almost all the anarchists I know are much more about creating something - growing food, maintaining community spaces, organizing grassroots coalitions - than about destruction. That doesn't mean that some of us don't also subscribe to notions of direct action that involve actually destroying some part of the capitalist structure. But this is far from being destruction for its own sake, and many anarchists don't consider property destruction to be "violence" - especially when compared to the massive violence perpetrated by the state and the corporate power structure it protects. So, while anarchism does involve an element of "destroying what destroys you," at its essence it is about *creating* a world based on equality, cooperation, and the non-exploitation of one another and the earth. The notion that anarchism equals violence and wanton destruction is perpetuated by the existing system and its media to ensure that people continue to hate and fear us - because, in fact, anarchist ideas *are* dangerous to the capitalist power structure and the state that protects it.

HK: What is the purpose of the Finding Our Roots Conference?

KBunny: The initial idea for FOR materialized in 2006 as a response to organizing efforts taking shape around the coming presidential political conventions. Folks felt that, while they prepared for planned protests, anarchists should also work on educating ourselves about our history, ideas, and practice, and creating more space for open exchange and networking. The original idea was to have a series of three conferences within two years - the first on theory, the second on organizing, and the third on direct action. We did use the first two themes for the first two FORs. But by the time the first conference was over the idea had evolved into establishing an annual anarchist conference in Chicago. When folks met to begin planning this year's conference, it was generally felt that direct action was not an inclusive enough theme for a whole conference. So, FOR's purpose quickly expanded to be an annual opportunity for anarchists and the "anarcho-curious" in Chicago, around the midwest region, and beyond, to gather in order to discuss and debate ideas, network, learn about one another's work and our collective history, build community, and create bases for further organizing. It is also, secondarily, a chance to celebrate everything our community is and to connect with far-flung or seldom-seen comrades. While "outsiders" may have the perception that all anarchists know each other and work together all the time, in fact we spend most of our time involved in our own projects and immediate networks. In Chicago there is the added factor of the different neighborhoods being so spread out and isolated, as well as segregation across lines of race, class, age, etc. One of the things I love most about FOR is the way it brings together anarchists not only of different tendencies and with different focuses, but also of many different ages, class and racial backgrounds, genders and sexualities. To me this type of cross-sectional meeting is vital to our community and our collective struggle, so I'm very grateful that FOR seems to be sticking around as an annual opportunity to make these connections, and hopefully build on them over time.

HK: It seems that anarchist ideals may require a different approach to organizing something like this, how is this accomplished?

KBunny: See above, what I said about consensus. Also I'd add that an event that is anarchist in nature includes the assumption that no central authority dictates how it unfolds - so anyone is invited to get involved with the organizing, propose and put together a workshop, or take initiative in helping shape the event while it occurs, and all input is added to create the whole. For example, a common practice at anarchist conferences (which FOR has used) is to set aside space for "guerrilla workshops" - meaning that anyone can announce and hold a workshop that is not on the conference schedule. When you are organizing anything using consensus, the end result comes together through a combination of individual initiative and group decision-making.

HK: The theme of this year's conference was space; what can you tell me about the vitality of alternative living arrangements such as co-ops in Chicago?

KBunny: Stuff like that always waxes and wanes. Right now we seem to be in a period of abundance with regard to anarchist/anti-authoritarian spaces and collectives (housing and otherwise) in Chicago. One of this year's workshops that I helped plan was on collective living spaces. I was impressed by the sheer number of collectives that were represented there - easily more than a dozen, and that was only the folks who actually showed up! It seems that more and more people are seeking some kind of collective living arrangement, because they recognize the non-viability of the capitalist model where you choose between the nuclear family or solitary existence. More and more people are realizing that capitalism is increasingly going to fail to provide for our needs, and that we had best join forces now to try to do so for ourselves.

HK: What do anarchists do to improve their communities?

KBunny: I'm not sure I can adequately answer that question - again, there are at least as many answers as there are anarchists. Also, I'm not sure what you mean by "improve." I will say that being an anarchist is a process of continual self-critique and trying to figure out how to do things more effectively, and more conscientiously with regard to not perpetuating systems of oppression. We are all, especially here in the "belly of the empire," products and inheritors of this racist, classist, sexist, heterosexist world, and it's our responsibility to work continually to counteract these forces, as well as to overcome them within ourselves. As human beings all of us fail at this at least sometimes. But most anarchists are perpetually engaged with trying to live as close to our ideals as we can. One problem anarchist community always faces is being primarily populated by young, white children of privilege. It is always necessary to keep trying to push beyond these limitations, not only to "reach out" to people of color, poor people, and older people - but to support other struggles for liberation, and to make our community open and welcoming to people who may already be practicing anarchy, whether they call it that or not, in their own lives and communities. But as I said, one of the great things about FOR is the broad range of anarchists who show up and participate (I think the age range at this year's conference was 2 months to 70 years), proving that our community is not *as* homogeneous as it often seems.

HK: What are the biggest challenges to the scene?

KBunny: See above. Also, I would say that a big challenge is not getting so caught up in our own internal debates and differences that we lose sight of the larger struggle against oppression in which we're all engaged in some way. It can seem so impossible to get a roomful of anarchists to agree on anything, that we forget that in the eyes of the system and its adherents we're all the same.

HK: What do you think/hope the future of the anarchist scene will look like?

KBunny: Oy, another huge question! As an "older" anarchist - meaning not in my 20s (I'll be 38 this year) - I think about this question a lot, as it pertains to growing older and living a whole lifetime within a community of resistance that can tend toward young people who think they know it all and are quickly distracted. For one thing, I'd like to see anarchists make greater efforts to learn about and from our history, and to understand ourselves as part of a tradition of resistance, culture, and thought that goes back almost two centuries. I also hope that our community will continue to diversify and expand - maybe in another decade or two "anarchist" won't be automatically associated with the image of a young, white "alternative type." As far as my predictions, I think the current trend of collective living, building permaculture systems, and working toward food and energy self-sufficiency will continue to grow. I think and hope that this will be increasingly true - out of necessity - throughout first-world society, and I think it's encouraging and appropriate that anarchists are on the frontlines of this trend.

5/2/09

Top 5: Unlikely Comic Book Heroes

IT's FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! stop by your local stores today, May 2nd, for a free comic book! freecomicbookday.com

(5) Krazy Kat- Ignatz Mouse throws bricks at her, and she loves him for it. Even in the surrealist, offbeat landscape created by Herriman, Krazy's devotion to Ignatz is more inexplicable than your average love affair.

(4) Waldo: Alias the Cat - Kim Deitch's sideshow shadow realm's greatest hero/villain, a horny, greedy, mischievous muse of sorts that is only visible to certain people, often those marked for doom and dementia. Waldo is a small black cat, shamelessly nude, who in various stories is credited with becoming a god to a primitive desert island tribe and subsequently destroying them, having an affair with a midget in a midget village alternately seen as a haven or a slave camp, and driving a drunken cartoonist into madness and social isolation.

(3) Rorschach: Watchmen - A violent vigilante who receives messages in the trash, has the overpowering smell of a vagrant hippie dumpster diver, and bases his costume on a dress ordered by Kitty Genovese (a woman who was tragically assaulted and murdered in front of her neighbors), which magically changes shape from panel to panel.

(2) Spider Jerusalem: Transmetropolitan - stick Hunter S. Thompson in a future New York filled in which the top children's television program is the Sex Puppets, fast food deals monkey and dolphin burgers, and humans are able to download their minds into a group of tiny computers that form a cloud ("foglets") and can arrange molecules to make any object of their choosing, and you have Transmetropolitan. A shit-talking, drug-addled, bowel-disruptor armed hero journalist, Spider abhors the fame that surrounds him after he outs a government plot to start a riot to kill the Transients, a group of people using alien DNA to transform their bodies for purely aesthetic rebellious reasons, which consequently dooms them to poverty and second-class citizenship. One wouldn't expect a comic based on a journalist, albeit a gonzo journalist, to be thrilling, but Warren Ellis' witty dialogue and convoluted plot coupled with Darick Robertson's imaginative yet realistic depiction of the future freaks of the City make it work.

(1) Dream: The Sandman - Neil Gaiman's Sandman series is so freakin critically acclaimed for a reason: reading it, you feel like you're falling into a strange and sometimes uncomfortable dreamscape, which is how you should feel reading a comic based on a mythological personification of the realm of Dream and his family, the Endless: Death, Destruction, Despair, Desire, and Delirium. In the comic, mythologies (comic, greek, christian, etc.) interweave to form an epic narrative.

honorable mention: Lois Lane- according to Blanche: "Lois Lane is often misinterpreted as the damsel-in-distress, but really she is a strong independent woman. She's also the only superheros girlfriend [that I know of] to have her own spin-off series." I'm not a huge Lane fan, but Blanche insisted that I include either Lane or Catwoman on the list. For the Batman universe, Catwoman is one of the more realistic superheroine/villain, so that's out...

4/23/09

collaborative poem by Alex Bonner, Jess Rose, and Joe Bly

^click on the image for a closer look^

4/20/09

Happy 420!

4/17/09

inconvenience yrself tonite

tonite: live @ the inconvenience...

Rachele Eve, Lion Limb, Gabe Ruiz, Ryan Murphy, & DJ DOJO
5$@door pbr@$1 wine@$2
3036 N Lincoln

"rocket" by Riley, "parody" by Jess Rose, "good grief!" by HK

4/13/09

GRIT wants you!

Kneeling on Grits, a feminist zine outta good ol' Columbia college, is calling for submissions. they want poetry, fiction, nonfiction/essays, and visual art (digital art, drawing/paintings, photography, comics). Submissions should address feminist, gender/sexual orientation, race, class, or other issues of discrimination and oppression. email stephzanie@gmail.com by April 23rd (a week from this Thursday) and include the name you would like to be published under. You will be notified by April 30th if your work is selected.

speaking of gender...

come to Columbia's

GenderFusions 5: FREAK PARADE EXTRAORDINAIRRE!

Full Schedule

SATURDAY APRIL 18th: The event kicks off at 6pm with a presentation by keynote speaker Del LaGrace Volcano at Ferguson Hall, 600 S. Michigan Ave (1st flr). At 7pm, the FREAK PARADE will take off from this location, and anyone is welcome to join the parade- jugglers, poets, stilt walkers, drag queens, hippie cyclists, cowboys, tattooed ladies, midwesterners and their ilk will freak out the squares and make sum noise, and you're invited to join! Aaand... there will be FREE FOOD! At 8pm, the Spectacle begins at 618 S Michigan (2nd flr). The spectacle will include performances by drag queens, drag kings, musicians, poets (at least one, that is- yours truly) & writers, dancers (burlesque and otherwise) in fabulous costumes and all shades of gender expression. it's a mere $5 for students ($10 gen), with 75 FREE tickets being reserved for the first 75 kids to e-mail lgbtq@colum.edu . Performers include Del LaGrace Volcano, Lenelle Moise, La Dulce Palabra, Matthew Hollis, Darrell Jones, Lisa Danielson, Tristan Silverman, Avery R. Young, Misty DeBerry, Ames Hawkins, Sharon St. James, & Johnny T. oh, & HK.

4/12/09

Graffitti Loves You!

taken mostly in logan square in the loop, from the summer to spring of this past year. the last pic is from an actual police website dedicated to combating grafitti. while Elephant encourages the use of public space for artistic expression, we certainly do not endorse gang violence. the crayon grafitti that says kill pres i dent was in reference to bush, not obama. the CTA one was a sticker series that was posted on el cars. "rodents everywhere" was posted on the congress hotel, site of 5 year strike. that next to last photo says "implant this". a few of these are actually not grafitti, but cool anyway.