6/29/09

Activity: Talk Back

You walk down the street past a billboard that says "Want People To Want To Stand Near You? Use Soylent Soap! Clean And People-Free", pass a street preacher yellin "how you gonna go to heaven, if you don't properly wash your vegetables? how you gonna go to heaven, if you a member of Sam's Club? how you gonna go to heaven, if you change a lightbulb wearing overalls?". You go to work and your boss tells you to quit jerkin off to high speed internet mature tentacle rape school girl innocent interracial insurance salesmen porn and recusitate that heart patient already or you're sacked. then you go home and the Surrounding TeeVee Walls tells you that you should really be offended by men who don't adequately cover their bald spots with a wig of at least horsehair quality at Socialist Funerals, and Something Must Be Done!, and it's good, real good, that President Andy set fire to that kitten.

Well, sometimes you just gotta scream, I'm Mad As Hell and I Ain't Gonna Take It Anymore!

*Create/write a piece in response to a message you're not generally invited to respond to.*

Then present/display your art/poem to that corporation/crowd/person/entity. Paste it up over that billboard /your mama's face! Send it in to the paper! Scream it on the street!

Extra Credit: Document your efforts and send them to elephantzine@gmail.com. The gods will reward you handsomely.

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also, for those of you wondering- "hey, whatever happened to issue 3? and when the fuck they gonna have another show?" well, see, we really wanted to do it earlier, but like, had all these problems, like, first our car ran outta gas and we had to go back cuz we forgot to feed the cat and then our cousin from outta town showed up and he was with this kid who we recognized as a fugitive from the law from a wanted poster at the mcdonalds so we had to climb out the bathroom window cuz we heard sirens but it was only the fire truck across the street but then we forgot our keys and we didnt wanna break a window so we called the landlord but we hadta hang up on him cuz we remembered we forgot to pay the rent, so we went up to the pawnshop to tryn raise some dough but we got in a fistfight with the owner cuz he kept trying to tell us we couldnt pawn our fuckin shoes, even if they were mada solid gold cuz they got holes in em and our feet stank, then we heard about this rad free show happenin in the square but when we got there it was canceled so we got some 40s and got wasted and woke up in alberqurke only we couldnt even figure out how to spell it right so it ended up being fuckin newark, and we got lost and the only people we could find for directions were peruvian or some shit, and we tried to speak peruvian but accidentally ended up telling them to suck our dirty hairy bottoms clean of their mother's moisture, so then we had to run our asses to the #16 bus in a hail of gunfire and we got shot in the ankle so we went to the hospital only we didnt have no insurance so we hadta put on false mustaches but they fell of and we got kicked out so we hadta dig out the bullet with the same spoon that fugitive kid, our cousin's friend, had used to funnel outta prison, and it hurt like hell so we went uptown to score some painkillers off a down croaker, only he said he didnt write no more on accounta he had the fuzz sniffin around his coattails all the goddamm time so we bought a bottla cough syrup and drank it but then we remembered that we were late for work so we got on the bus only we didnt have no change anymore so we got kicked off the bus and then we were hustlin for change but the cops stopped us so we pulled some kung fu moves and got outta there only then we hadta steal a car and got stuck in a high speed pursuit along the dan ryan of all places but we knew a safehouse in hydepark so we ditched the hot ride and crashed in this girls house only her mama was there and she kept askin all these questions about our schooling and we didnt know cuz we hadnt been to school in ages so finally we said fuck it and went home and broke a window and passed the fuck out. but we'll get to it monday, we swear.

serously, we have some rad poems and if this weather holds we think we may be able to get it out around august or september. also we wanna have a fuckin show, just not sure where, anybody got a fuckin warehouse they can lend us? also also, it'd help if you sent us some work. ASAP, as in right fuckin now, you lazy goddamn waxy eared slack jawed cloudhed artistes. why dont you all go to accountant school get real jobs. we did and look at us! i mean, we're broke as shit but at least Mom's Friendly Robot Corporation is making bank, plus we figure in a year or two we got a good shot at embezzlement. so what were we saying, O yea, send us art/poetry/dead rats and we'll, y'kno, photocopy/upload/wheatpaste 'em for yas.

Cheers! -Elephant

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